For the longest time, I felt like Mulan, like the Reflection song, wondering when my reflection would match who I am inside. I had an exact idea of how I should look to feel good and think I was deserving. It was unrealistic and I ultimately set myself up for failure.
I look at myself today and I am in awe of the woman staring back at me. I am impressed by her, she ignites my fire and makes me want to work harder physically and emotionally to be all I know I can be. The woman I am on the outside fits perfectly with who I am on the inside. It is unbelievable. I’ve become a selfie queen. Wanting to capture the smile in my face and the sparkle in my eye on the off chance it’s all a dream. I know it’s not but… selfies don’t hurt anyone.
I am seeing how my positivity energy is affecting others and inspiring them to rid themselves of negativity as well. It makes me feel important to know that my hard work is helping others now. What a wonderful motivator to continue on!
What’s more important is my kids. Man, I fight Miah to take pictures with me but, he willingly took them yesterday. Today he gave me the biggest and most sincere hug. He nuzzle into me and it took my breath away. He may be a foot taller than me but I will always be his momma. My boys, the are God’s gifts… proving that He loves me. They may not be perfect but they are perfect for me. Miah, I’ve been a bit worried about him. He’s got a lot going on in that teenage head of his but last night, I think things took a turn for the better. He was surprised by something he wasn’t expected and it filled his heart more than he thought it would. He tries very hard to be tough but, at the end of the day, he is just a kid that wants to feel loved and wanted.
I am grateful for the progress i am making in my life, for all the good that God has bestowed upon me lately. He has taught me patience and perseverance, while adjusting my priorities and what I want out of life. I should always have a goal, a destination as long as I know that life is about the journey getting there. My road was bumpy for so many years and now it looks more smooth and bright.
I’ll never give up on what I believe in. I think I’m more invested than ever. I am confident in who I am and what I have set out to accomplish. I am true to myself. What’s on the inside is what’s showing on the outside. A beautiful, smart and silly woman… a happy one at that! I love me!