Last year my world was turned upside-down. All of my dreams were coming true and then nothing. Instead of giving up on them, I instead pushed pause and decided to work on myself. What I learned was that there were other dreams that I could focus on that required my focus and dedication to myself. That’s where school came in to play.
A year in and I am realizing that I am not limited to a set number of dreams or goals. Anything is possible if I’m willing to put in the work and… if I’m not stuck on a particular outcome or path. God may allow us to reach the destination but the journey could look completely different from what we envisioned. Now, it’s just a matter of what it is I truly want.
It boggles my mind how much things change. I was talking to Miah’s girlfriend the other day… she was asking about my dream wedding. I told her that when I was younger I wanted it big and expensive but, now I wouldn’t care getting married at City Hall. Small and intimate is more appealing to me. Yes, because it costs less but because at the end of the day, a beautiful backyard wedding would mean so much more. My priorities have changed. I’m glad too.
Again, when I was younger, I was fascinated by the hustle and bustle of big city living and now I like suburbia and dream of owning land in a small town for our pit bull sanctuary. I love that I’ve learned to let the chaos go. That my dreams are my own and slowly but surely I will find a way to make them come true.
Tomorrow I get my pictures back and then can post what I’ve been working on. It’s the first step of many. It’s forcing me to dream bigger as some dreams come to realization. I close my eyes and picture the life I want, I can see myself in my every day just doing my thing. I know there is a lot that still has to be done, some things are out of my control but, that doesn’t stop the dreaming or praying.
Years ago, me going back to school was just a dream and yet, here I am. Loving myself was not something I ever thought I would accomplish and I’m now my biggest fan. Having my mom say she is proud of me, well, I had given up on that too and somehow, it came to fruition. Her saying it came when I no longer needed to hear it. See how God works? I know I just have to believe. We got something else last weekend that none of us thought would happen and it was a dream come true. I’m still riding off that high.
We have big dreams now. We talk about them openly so we can pray for them to come true. I tell Miah all the time to see it happening and it will be. I’m blessed that he sees what I’m doing and uses it as his proof that dreams do come true. He brags about his momma to anyone that will listen. Yes, my dreams are big but, I’d give them all up for my boys. I just need them to be healthy and happy, to be good men that love and are loved wholly. Everything I do is to ensure they will have good lives. Right now I am leading by example.
I’m ready to make some more of our dreams come true. Might need some help to cross a few items off the list but, all in God’s perfect timing. I’m dreaming big, manifesting it all into reality. It’s not just about the dreaming, when I started putting things into action then He helps see it through. Sometimes you have to get your hands dirty, help do some of the work. I’ll always make mistakes but I’ll never give up. I’m turning dreams into plans….