Glow Up

This year is a building year and I set quite a few goals for myself. While I have continued to grow internally… you read about it daily, I have not pushed myself as much as I have wanted to for various reasons. But, time waits for no man. So, I have recently started taking a multi-vitamin with like everything but the kitchen sink in it and while out with the kids, we stopped at Ulta for some products for my face. I have sensitive skin and wearing masks makes my face hurt something fierce. My cheeks feel like they are on fire afterwards. I am not getting any younger and want to age gracefully. Taking care of my body is important to me even though that’s what I let fall by the wayside. I picked up hydrating cream and toner and wow, my face smells and looks so fresh right now. I think this will be something I find easy to keep up with. I have started doing a few exercises but decided that tomorrow I will go back to incorporating yoga into my daily routine. I absolutely can’t wait to get back in the gym, even though I’m missing my partner.

Miah’s girlfriend and I were talking about her family earlier and the topic of actions speak louder than words came up. I had to internalize that for a moment. I keep saying that I am going to lose weight but, I don’t force the issue. 10 years ago I was down to 120 lbs and although I think that was a little too thin, I worked my butt off to get there. What’s stopping me now? This week I have tried to avoid soda and have made better food choices. I have had at least one avocado a day and I made this awesome cucumber cocktail last night that is so yummy. I like cooking and my tummy appreciates it more than fast food. I thought that with everything being so crazy it would be harder to stay on top of these things but, it forces me to make time for myself. I look in the refrigerator and see the easy stuff to grab or how I could just hop in the car to go to get fast food but, choosing my health, choosing to cut up some bell pepper and avocados to eat for lunch, that time is time I am choosing me and it is necessary. It makes me happy inside.

I still have plenty of weight to lose and I have to keep making the effort but, I am ready to honestly have my exterior feel as good as my interior. Things are making more sense each and every day. Because of that, the happiness is exuding out of me. I can’t hide it or deny it. I have waited too long to be this woman. I never thought I would get here. I didn’t think I had it in me to ever fight for her. Scared that choosing me would mean that I wasn’t choosing my family. Damn it, I am my family. Choosing me is choosing us. This knowledge is proving powerful and although I am not the Almighty, I feel like I have the strength to move mountains. Never underestimate what you are made of. You’ll do yourself and your loved ones a disservice. When you find your family, they will see the most beautiful version of you through all of your flaws. Breathe into it, accept unconditional love, trust that you are deserving of the good that surrounds you. Don’t deny yourself what’s meant for you out of fear. Faith over fear…. always.

Learn to ride the wave regardless if it is perfect or not. Many things are coming my way but don’t look how I imagined. I can get upset or I can enjoy the ride. Remember, I only control me, I can’t change the circumstances, only how I respond to them. I am rising above, I am just so blessed for what is happening in my life. I feel so much right now, overwhelmed for what is to come. I let go of my expectations and accept what the tide is bringing in. Abundance, Love, Endurance, Strength, Happiness, etc.

Here I am….

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