As if everything I am wading through isn’t enough, I now have my Nana’s health and well-being in my hands. I am having to seriously look at what all I’m committed to and realistically decide if I can give my all to it all. If not, what gets cut? I have struggled to make me my priority and here I am at a point in my life where I’m needing to give back to my Nana as she has always been there for me without question. What a frustrating predicament.
My mom called me this morning and asked if I could handle taking care of Nana. You see, that’s not even a question. It has to get done. So even if I can’t handle it, I will find a way to make it happen. I’ve promised my Nana that she would be taken care of and I will not let her down. I don’t think she is going to require more than after her surgery last year so…. I’ll make due.
I am worried that school will suffer. I already gave up on applying for the internship I was stoked about because I can’t commit my time to it. The internet issues were already proving to be a problem and taking care of Nana will be time consuming. This is where I have to rely on my faith. I truly believe this is the path I am meant to be on and if I am right, God will continue to guide me. Time management and no procrastination will get me far.
Again, with all of this, I understand why I am at this point in my life. Under different circumstances the options available to us could be unsatisfactory and leave me feeling defeated. I am just tasked with pushing harder. If I want all of this, I have to work for it. No matter what life throws my way, I have to continue to show up and give my best at all times. I’ve been doubting myself, losing momentum and now I am paying for it. These lessons are forcing me to rely on me more than ever, when I feel alone, I remember that I’ve got me. I choose what has power over me, I choose my mood and how I respond to things.
Things are chaotic in my life but what I want, what I’m working towards, I have not swayed with that. Consistency is key. I don’t back down from a challenge. By the grace of God, I will persevere.