Down, Not Out.

I am so tired that I can’t even think straight. I got less than 4 hours of sleep before I had to get up and take my Nana to her appointment. People at the specialist’s office were so polite, it was nice because they let me stay with her. I have been up all day though, still having to make dinner and clean the kitchen. I think I’ve let myself wind down enough to call it a night.

Melatonin… where are you? Lol

I had plans to do homework at my friend’s but Nana hasn’t been feeling well. Going to the doctor took a lot out of her and so I had to reschedule. I am starting to feel the pressure of everything I need to accomplish this week but, I couldn’t leave her. I’ll always choose her. I know that I did the right thing and God will work it out for me somehow.

I like mine and Nana’s car rides. We are able to speak candidly. I don’t know why but things I’ve been working out in my mind suddenly click when I’m driving in the car with her. I like bouncing my thoughts off her. I know how lucky I am to be able to help her with all of this.

So much is on my mind. What’s new right? I think it is apparent that my brain 🧠 is always in motion. Nowadays at least it is positive instead of spiraling down a rabbit hole of nonsense and pain. I am constantly working to better myself to understand something that I didn’t know before or a different way to see things. I only want good inside me. I have to rid myself of bad and negative thoughts, memories etc. Extract what I can, lessons learned and let that shit go. Only what’s meant for me has room to stay and that definitely does not.

I am comfortable in my skin. Even when I’m all over the place… I love me. In my head I do a happy dance daily to celebrate this me. I anticipate the day I am free to do it in my own space! I like myself, I’m glad I’m me, there’s no one else I’d rather be.

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