Everything that can go wrong has been going wrong and I got fed up with it. Our phones were acting so stupid today that I had to drive 15 minutes away to get cell service to take a call with my counselor. The internet, everything is so messed up and it is making things way harder than they need to be. Here it is Thursday and I hadn’t done any of my work because I couldn’t logon to do it. So, I had to put on my thinking cap and think of someone that I know is social distancing that I might be able to ask for help, that I could go and use their internet at their house to get what I needed to done. Thankfully, I thought of someone and they said yes, so, here I sit getting my work done in record time because his internet beats what I am used to working with. I don’t like asking for help but, I knew that if I didn’t fix this problem today that I was going to allow myself to drop out of school and lose all the work I’ve already done. Whew.
My Nana on the other hand is still not doing well and keeps putting on a brave face. I may have to take her to the doctor tomorrow. She doesn’t like to and never really has asked for help so, she rather try to deal with things on her own so that she is not a burden. She is so stubborn but, at least we know where we get it from. Things are going to have to change for her soon and I don’t think she is going to like it. I have to think of what’s best for her and she has to learn to let me do things for her.
I feel like there are some things I may need to start back at step one. I don’t know if all this internet crap happened because I needed to learn to ask for help or if it just happened. I am to the point where I am just so frustrated that I was seriously going to give up on all I’ve done and mess up so many things. I mean I’ve been on this journey to stand on my own two feet and I thought asking for help would be a step backwards, but, I have good friends that know I hate asking for stuff so when I ask, I need the help. I am still in awe on how quickly I was able to complete most of my schoolwork. I have one assignment left to do and 3 responses and then I will be done. I mean I still have two chapters that I need to put into a PowerPoint prior to next Friday but that is supposed to be a team effort with no help from the team as of yet. Oh, and don’t forget my speech that I can’t seem to get exactly right which means I haven’t been practicing like I should. Shit seems like it is dire but, I’m going to be a comeback kid, just watch. I’m not ready to give up just yet.
I don’t have much more to say, I mean, I do but, I have work to do still and I should be focusing my attention on that. I just wanted to pop on and do my thing. Hey, don’t ever be too prideful to ask for help. There is strength in that, it is not a weakness, when you’ve exhausted everything you can possibly do, it is smart and healthy to utilize your resources, being resourceful is a good thing. Anyways, have a great evening…. back to the books for me! Goodnight.