No matter what we are going through in our lives, whether it is a good day or a bad moment, we must always take a breath. It is important to breathe through it. That is the surest thing we are going to do in any moment. To concentrate on your breath in difficult times seems to help you get through it more quickly or at least you’re distracted enough not to notice.
My wrist is hurting something fierce right now but I gave my all in my last yoga sequence today. I wanted to make sure that I showed fully what I was capable of since I began. I had to take measurements and I improved immensely on my flexibility…in just three weeks, 4 times a week. Can you imagine if I keep this up what I’ll be able to accomplish in 6 months? The best part is how good I feel afterwards. I’m at peace with myself and it takes me to a level I was unable to attain prior to this.
You know, I’m a firm believer things happen for a reason. My yoga Professor was my professor years ago for kick boxing. I was almost 20 years younger and her class was hard-core and she didn’t hold back. I had to drop it because I was at a point where my stress and depression were causing me to do things that didn’t allow me to keep up with the class. I was so scared to enroll in her class now but she is exactly what I needed. She motivated me and told me to not be so hard on myself. She was proud of what I turned in and my willingness to give it my all. She breathed the encouragement into my life that I needed to get through this short semester. It was no coincidence for me to have taken that class. I am forever grateful.
So much is up in the air right now. My mind and gut are not on the same page and instant gratification sounds easier than waiting to see how things pan out. I know I will pay for being hasty and that’s where I am thankful for my new breathing techniques. I force myself to concentrate on my breath, to try to calm my mind down and pray for strength to keep going as I have. Everything I do is for the right reasons, with a purpose and to lose sight of what I’ve been fighting for, what I’ve been building for would be a loss I am not sure I could recover from.
As I make the right decision, as I slow my need for speed, lol, I am rewarded with beautiful moments. I sit here now having just scratched my son’s back and put him to sleep as our Raiyhn is cuddled up to him asleep as well. As long as I look to the right of me, where they are, my heart is full… I can imagine that the left side looks similar. I just close my eyes and breathe into it…and so it is.
Last night I had a bad dream, a really bad dream and I woke up scared. For the first time in months I rolled over for comfort and when he wasn’t there, I went for my phone so he could assure me everything was fine. I woke up enough to remember when his number wasn’t the last one I called, when I scrolled past a few days and it still didn’t show. Then I remembered. The tears went from being because I was scared of a dream to being scared that he will never comfort me again. I cried myself back to sleep…praying to God and telling myself to just breathe.
My life is beautiful and chaotic, I am a work in progress and each day brings with it what it may. I can’t control any of it but, I can control my breath. I can inhale through my nose and exhale through my mouth. I can breathe into the pain, I can breathe in joy and breathe out any negativity. It’s a constant that I need.