I am a bit under the weather at the moment. I’ve had the worst headache for most of the day and a sensitivity to light. Contrary to my plans, I wasn’t able to get as much accomplished as I had thought I would. Again, so much for plans right? I’ve got to listen to my body and right now it doesn’t seem very happy with me.
I know I’ve been on an emotional rollercoaster and where it stops, no one knows. I guess this is my body’s way of telling me I need to slow down a bit and recharge. If I am not in tip top shape, I cannot care for others in the way that I expect to. I’ve got only a week more of this a chapter a week business for school but it is taking a toll on me. Not that I can’t do the work, I’ve proven I can, I just have many other priorities that take precedence and for that, my grades are beginning to suffer. This is all testing me, I know, I just don’t like it much.
I’m not quite sure I have enough strength to carry on tonight. My body is hurting something fierce and my eyelids are heavy. I’m being called to dreamland where only recently, my dreams make sense and they are so much better than what I am living while I’m awake. It’s only motivation for me to push harder but, perhaps not this evening. I need rest.
Signs, the signs are all around. I can feel them, I can see them again, I’m paying attention. A person on TikTok that I follow, he said that when you choose to stay instead of staying out of fear, there is strength in that. I think I’ve reached that point. I was staying out of obligation, out of what I thought was expected of me. I’ve found peace in the fact that it is solely my decision now, it is of my choosing, with a pure heart and true intentions.
Carry on…. and sleep well.