With 15 minutes left to spare, I just turned in my Research Paper for Statistics. Oh em gee…. what a slacker! Lol, I still have all of my regular school work to do and my Research Paper for Government. I will be a busy bee the next few days. Thankfully next week is the last week and mostly everything will be done prior to then. I am super duper excited, I got into the last class I needed for Spring Semester so now it’s a matter of applying for a few other things to get the ball rolling. I am nervous and overwhelmed yet, I am keeping a positive attitude and pushing myself forward.
School is keeping me busy and providing a much needed distraction. The weight of the holidays is beginning to be too much. Miah mentions things here and there and it breaks my heart. I don’t have anything I can say to make it better. You think that maybe it’s not a big deal or that he doesn’t care and then it’s the little things, like telling my mom how “our” family decorates the Christmas tree. How he had to wait for his brother to be with us for us to decorate and that I let them put the ornaments wherever because I always went behind them and made sure that they were spread out evenly. After that comment, he didn’t want to decorate much more. All I can do is remind him how much I love him and that it’s okay to feel the way he does because momma feels it too. We are in this together no matter what! It’s the nights when I’m alone, or when I see families sharing in special moments that my heart hurts, basically every day that ends in y. We are almost 10 days into this month and I’m holding up, barely, but, I’m managing.
I don’t understand why I am here, but, I accept it nonetheless. Anyways, I am done looking at a computer today. I’m sorry that I’ve been so short. I’ve just got so much on my plate and even more on my mind. Trying to hold it together when I’m super emotional is so not the business. This too shall pass. Growing pains right?