Weird sort of day…

Today has been the kind of day that you wish you could go back to bed and start it all over. I attempted to do so midday but, don’t you know, when I woke up it was just later in the day! Nothing bad happened, well, I put my foot in my mouth and finding it difficult to backtrack but… other than that it’s just an odd day.

My son of course has been the best, we’ve been watching Netflix together and talking. He always has a way of making things better. Right now is hard for us. This time of the year looks different usually and it just kind of sucks. Thankfully we’ve gotten closer but, I can’t fix this for him and it’s a hard fact to face. He’s a teenage boy, I wasn’t one, we speak different languages. I’m working hard to bridge the gap.

Finding a balance between saying enough and not saying too much is not easy for me. Especially with the way my mind is working at the moment. I’m living in what should have been this week… next week probably too. I feel like I’m all alone in this. I have so much I’m holding in and I’m trying to understand why this is happening the way it is. I know there’s a reason but, I’m not comprehending why I have to go through so much pain to learn a lesson. How much more must I endure? For what purpose? My mind it’s in overdrive and I’m bouncing from one thought to another. Not sure what is going to pop up next.

My focus has been off. Finding words has been difficult. I struggled significantly while writing my discussions for class last week. I’m not being able to express myself as eloquently as I am able to usually. It’s beyond frustrating. All I can do is take a deep breath and ground myself, think happy thoughts. Mind over matter.

Don’t get me wrong, I am blessed for my life, I have a rood over my head and clothes on my back, I love some amazing people and pups. Momma said there’d be days like these, there’d be days like these, momma said! I might attempt schoolwork, I might dive back into Netflix… all I know is this weird day is almost over and tomorrow brings a fresh start. No more funky town for this chick! Lol

Choose your words wisely because once they are said they can never be taken back and everything might change.

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