Time, it’s limited. Each person is born with only so much of it and our timer begins the second we are conceived. We don’t know what the amount of time that is given to us is and so we attempt at living each moment to its fullest. 86,400 seconds in the day, that seems like a lot but as we continue to break it down, 60 seconds in a minute, 60 minutes in an hour, 24 hours in a day, that’s not a lot of time. We must choose how to spend our time wisely. We can’t afford to give everything or everyone all of our time, we wouldn’t have enough to go around. Have you thought about this? Have you broken down your day and realized how much time you’re wasting on foolish things, or on not filling your day with what means the most to you, what motivates you, what is going to ensure tomorrow is filled with everything that you want it to have.?
Time is a priceless commodity and yet if we think about it, we waste so much on pointless things. I watched a pastor on social media, I think it was on TikTok and he said that we are supposed to tithe 10% to our Lord, I immediately thought about our earnings because we tithe in church. But then he said something profound. God gives us 24 hours in the day, we are to tithe 10% of that time, so 2 hours and 40 minutes belongs to him each and every day. I had to think about that and then put in perspective all of the time I was searching for something, for answers, for someone to accept me fully and never leave and although I prayed at night before I went to bed, I rarely spoke to God unless I needed something. But when I started free falling in March, He was the first place I looked to for help. Since then I have included Him in every part of my day not only the ending. I don’t give him 2 hours and 40 minutes consecutively and some days I don’t quite meet my 10% but I am giving Him more of me than I have ever done before. I speak to Him about the good and the bad, I give thanks more than I ask for things now. He always shows up, He accepts me and I don’t have to worry if He will leave. I am His daughter and He created me exactly how I was meant to be. Through His love for me I was able to discover my love for myself.
I have been hoping and praying and spending countless hours on the way I want my life to go and with whom I want it with. I am exerting so much effort and I was okay with it because I was sending out the vibes for the life I wanted. I don’t know if it’s the right move anymore. I don’t want to give up but, if I am only allotted so much time in the day, should I spend it on people that don’t care? People that don’t spend any of their time on me. In 86,400 seconds I can’t be given 1 second, so, perhaps my efforts are better spent elsewhere. I want to give to those that I receive from. I want to give my time, time that I can’t get back to the people and things that appreciate and respect the time that I am giving. In a way that is helping me to continue being the person I have become. Lately, I’ve become better at managing my time in a more appropriate fashion, in a way that sits well with my soul. I am receiving energy, perhaps not as much as I am exerting and it’s definitely not equal levels but, I’m okay with that. I have let go of the reigns of my expectations, of how I think things should be and I’m learning to live with how my life is going, the direction it is taking. My time is just as important as the next person’s, just as valuable, and I can’t afford to waste it on things that don’t suit me.
I have grown leaps and bounds, I have my good days and my bad days, I have learned lessons in each. I am accepting people into my life and allowing others to be excused. I understand that I can’t sit here and write that I know my worth but when I am faced with a situation that devalues who I am, I must speak up and not allow myself to retreat into allowing myself to be anything less than who I am. It’s definitely something that is a work in progress but, progress is still a move forward. Speaking up when I am afraid I am going to lose what my heart desires is one of the hardest things and I still don’t know how to do it. I’m learning the hard way that staying silent hasn’t gotten me anywhere either, only seen as weak and an object to be trampled over. So, I adjust my focus, I keep my hopes and dreams to myself, for my conversations with God and I continue to outwardly choose me. My time is a hot commodity to those that truly see me for who I am, for those that want to be in my life, for the things that are meant for me, when you think of it that way, it’s kind of easy to figure out how to spend your day, what is worthy of the time you’ve been given. I love my boy so, he gets as much as he wants and sitting talking about nothing with him will never get old. Going to school, that’s for me and choosing me is an important part of my life, although school gets tiring and takes up countless hours of my week, it is also fueling my tank, providing knowledge and an outlet to prove that I am so much more than I have given myself credit for. This blog, it keeps me consistent. It gives me an outlet and helps me find the words I need to say, not necessarily to you but more to me. I’m forced to face things that sometimes I didn’t even know were renting space in my head.
I’m making the most of my time. I am spending it wisely… and with less sleep, I am accomplishing more. Every spare moment I have, I give it to God. I implore you to take time to think about what you’re doing with your time. If it were money, would you spend it the same way? If it were your heart, would you give it away?