I swear, I should switch my name to signs or something. They are all around me. Since you’ve started reading my blog, have you taken the time to notice your signs? There are so many every day, we just have to be open to the possibilities. I’ve noticed that when I am faced with opposition and choose to persevere that I am rewarded in return. I guess it’s God’s way of acknowledging my growth, that I am utilizing my strength instead of retreating into myself like I have done so many times in the past. Yesterday could not have gone better if I had planned it myself. No…little spies, not what you think, not even what you can imagine so…keep trying to fill in the blanks for me! Haha, anyways, good things sometimes are disguised in disappointments. I feel free, like a bird and not clipping my wings waiting for approval or acceptance, I’ve already got my approval. I am not longing limited what I do out of respect for people that show me no respect at all. I am going to make the most of my time and do what I want.
Well, so, today I was put in an unseen situation and it turned out to be the best thing for me, like a prescription for what I needed at that time in my life. I had the best conversation I think I have had in I don’t know how long. I was treated with respect and even when my opinions differed, they were met with polite opposition and an opportunity to understand their point of view. This is something that is lacking in our country today. People not seeing eye to eye, not even agreeing to disagree, if we are not on the same side then we are enemies…crazy, ridiculous stuff. I digress, I was given great advice and even better support for where this journey is taking me. I felt like an adult and in this time of quarantine, it’s not a feeling I find often. I was given the confidence to forge ahead and make a way for myself, possibly even a different path if I am willing to explore my talents thoroughly and accept the hard work and dedication required to take on such a task. I feel like I won the jackpot today. Opportunities like this do not come around too often and although I have had other chances to have such a conversation, it just never happened…again, because everything happens for a reason.
I am smarter than I give myself credit for. I have a way with words and I enjoy giving of myself. I know that I want to make a difference and with my schooling, I know that I can do just that. It might not take me as far as I want to go. People that don’t believe in me, that don’t support me fully will only hold me back. So, I guess I am learning that I can love people from afar, especially those that don’t reciprocate what I am putting out. I have been held down before, I have put myself on hold to be what I thought others need and I’m afraid I’ve wasted my God given talents. I am quickly trying to make up time and I’m overjoyed with the doors that seem to be opening up for me. If someone can’t see the light that radiates from me, that doesn’t see how good of a person I am, that’s their problem and not mine. See, there are others that know who I am, just by looking at me are intrigued in what I am about and how they can be a part of it. I can’t convince people to stay, to choose me when my efforts are needed elsewhere. I want to make a change and changing your mind, well, that’s small picture and I’m interested in the bigger picture. Months ago yesterdays shenanigans would have gotten the best of me but as I keep saying, I’m elevating to a higher level and that petty stuff just doesn’t phase me anymore.
Even when I lose I’m winning….when I choose me. I am finding support in unlikely places. I have people to talk through an assignment or read a discussion before I post it. I am getting career advice and most importantly, I am being reminded of my worth, of my contribution to this world and just how much I am needed. I am worth their time, I am made a priority, I don’t have to beg or convince them to be part of my life. I am just me being the best version of me and they keep showing up, keep choosing me. When I have nothing to offer except who I am, I don’t have anything fancy, I am not in a place of physical abundance and yet, my offer of me, just me, just my texts or phone calls or emails or time, just what I have to offer within myself is more than what they expect, it’s hard to comprehend, it’s hard not to think that there has to be a catch and yet, I wake up to messages, snaps, I get calls throughout the day from people that need me in their lives. I don’t know what other compliment one needs, what other sign of reassurance that I’m going to be okay I could ask for. My heart may hurt something fierce but God doesn’t give us more than we can handle right? You can have all the right tools, have what it takes but if you don’t use it wisely, if you are too blind to see what is right in front of you that you might miss out on a once in a lifetime opportunity. I’m not blind and I’m learning that neither are others. I am blessed with amazing family and friends and I know that sometimes being in the right place at the right time can be life changing.