Colorguard MIL

Besides doing all of my day to day things I was able to go help my son’s girlfriend too! She is in Colorguard and all practices have been via video due to covid. She felt like she was falling behind so we got in like 3 hours of practice on her front lawn. I had so much fun being able to spin a flag again and help her out. So much is lost when learning to do it through zoom. She thought she was doing her spins properly and that wasn’t the case. I am happy that I was able to assist her. It’s great to be needed and especially when I get to be like an ace in the hole. Not everyone knows somebody that has training to do this. I am feeling good this evening.

Speaking of that, I kept that high I had last night 🌙 through the night. I continued to listen to music for a bit and then called it a night. I was able to sleep without interruption and I didn’t even move a bit. This morning I was extra grateful upon awakening and made sure to thank God for a blessed day. Life is just beautiful when we take the time to truly enjoy it.

There is something weighing on my heart ❤ and I have a feeling I’m overthinking it as I tend to do. Not necessarily overthinking persay, just reminding myself to stay the course I guess. I have learned to love myself for who I am, not who I was striving to be and don’t you know, when I started loving the me in transition, the two merged. Some people in my life haven’t caught up. Sure, love the me from the past but accept there’s a better version here now and get to know and love her as well. It’s absurd to me that only one person in my life loved me for who I was exactly at that moment. Don’t get me wrong, he knew who I had the potential to be and fought for me to grow into my potential but, he also loved me right where I was at even when it was difficult. I have always made allowances for people in my life, not expecting them to meet me where I’m at, for them to see me how they wanted and I don’t know how to do that anymore. I want to be seen and loved for who I am. I’m proud of me.

Talking to and spending time with Charlie is great. She is a good girl and a pleasure to be around. She has a lot going on in her life and I can be there for her. Between Jeremiah and Charlie, they are a good team. They help each other with homework, the motivate each other to attend class, and they are there for one another for just every day things. They both are estranged from their biological fathers although she has more contact than Miah but, I appreciate that she understands what he’s going through.

I posted something on Instagram about destruction can lead to construction and the creation of a masterpiece. I can completely relate and know that’s what I’m doing. I’m building on the foundation that’s always been there. I have faith even when I don’t see progress. I am taking pieces and putting them together to make something out of the nothing I thought was me. They say a phenix dies and is reborn, rising from the ashes…. that’s me. I am more confident in myself and my abilities today than yesterday and tomorrow will surpass today. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Anyways, I am super tired from that Colorguard practice. This vieja has not moved in that way for 20 years. I had fun though…. I can’t wait until the next time. Tomorrow is a new day y’all, are you ready?

Look what I just got! I chose to do something for me and I’ve been consistent for 200 days!

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