Whew!

Dancing it out a little bit on my bed right now, not gonna lie. I stayed up to complete all of my Government work last night, well this morning and then knocked out all of my Statistics work today, joined the class via zoom, submitted my references and just aced the quiz on the first try. I am feeling myself a little bit and don’t you know Here Comes the Hotstepper just came on! Gotta dance a little more now. Giving thanks to God for allowing me to do what I have to do in the timeframe that I am given regardless of what’s going on in my life. I am tackling this, ain’t leaving no room for error, failure is not an option. I am throwing the gauntlet down, my hat is in the ring, I am standing in the arena, I am commanding the attention of anyone and everyone to take a look at the woman I have become. My friends and family should rejoice for how far I’ve come and my enemies, well, they should be worried. I am not the meek, unsure, scared shell of a person I used to be. I will get what I want and deserve, I have been blessed and as long as I walk in faith, I fear nothing.

I am holding my breath… waiting to see how life is going to play out. Many options are presenting themselves but right now, I don’t feel like changing course. I am on a mission and I’m following my heart. My head it is much smarter now and I know it will take me far yet, my heart will always be my compass. I can’t stop smiling. Jeremiah and I both have all As right now in school. I am taking care of my business. My glow up is attracting the attention of others and for once, I am not hiding from it. It wasn’t easy getting here and as my confidence grows, I am able to graciously accept it. I just feel so good about who I am right now, inside and out.

Oh my goodness, I need to break out of this quarantine stuff. Maybe get in the car and go for a drive…. cruise baby! Lol. Well, first have that stupid light in the car fixed and then vroom vroom. I know I may sound silly and that’s okay. I have learned to celebrate my little victories and not save celebration for the big things. All accomplishments deserved to be recognized. It doesn’t hurt anybody and it makes me happy and happiness brings more joy to you and those you are around so…. Win! Win! Damn, my Spotify is killing it with good music right now. No Doubt – Sunday Morning is playing at the moment. I may need to play some Save Ferris next… let’s do it! Ya, I need to release some energy I think. What to do, what to do?

I’m not done with homework, I haven’t even started Communications but I’ll begin that tonight so I am done before the weekend. Did you give any thought to my thoughts on music from yesterday? I remembered listening to this good music I have going. Haha, I am all over the place tonight but for a good reason. I was a little worried I wasn’t going to get my work done for this week and I can’t believe how I just understood the math work this week after how confusing it was last week. Listening to my teacher explain things made it even better. I understood the material but knowing that she was there live for me to interject if something came up instead of having to do it on my own was refreshing!

Let’s talk about that a minute. I can do things on my own. I am actually very good at it, too good sometimes. I get to the point that I’m so used to doing it by myself that I forget how to be part of a team. That’s what happened before and I’m being mindful to not let that happen again. I have to remind myself how great it feels to have someone on your team, to have someone that supports you if you win or lose, if you’re right or wrong and that no matter if it’s a good day or a bad day, they choose you through it all. Not having to make every decision by yourself, being able to talk it out, it’s everything. I am so very proud of this bad ass woman I am taking charge of my life but know, it’s because I have to. All of this pandemic business has shown me that I can do it on my own no matter the circumstance. Now, I am ready to prove that while I am comfortable in my own skin, while I am confident on my two feet, I am very capable of being the woman to a man, to share in a partnership and allow my strengths to assist my man’s elevation to new heights as he reciprocates. I’m not looking to be stepped on our to step on anyone to get ahead, I’ll give you a boost and you can pull my big ass up with you once you’re steady and vice versa, you know what I mean? This world is not ready for what’s to come… but I am.

Anyways, I am going to get to more schoolwork and dancing to the awesome music I’ve got going here. Please, enjoy your night. Don’t take any negative in to tomorrow with you. Today is Thursday, Thursdays are a special day in my family and I hope it was a good day for you. My heart is full of love and my head full of thoughts. ❤

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