Learning lessons, always with the learning lessons…. so, even though I am super positive and hopeful, I still get those days that when something can go wrong it does go wrong. I am in a frustrated mood, like so very frustrated and I was tested more than once but, as the end of the day nears, I am taking a breath and letting all of those frustrations go. I refuse to carry them with me into tomorrow. I got the call that what was wrong with my car was not under warranty and had to pay out of pocket, then, I had to pick my car up after the service department was closed to drive a few blocks away and have that damn light turn on again. Did I mention that I am frustrated today? So, now I am probably going to have to go back again tomorrow. Oh joy!
This day wasn’t all bad. It had some pretty incredible moments as well. I had the most real dream I have ever had in my life, it was for only a few minutes before Jeremiah woke me up but, it was THE BEST dream I could have asked for. No, it was not naughty… if your mind went there. I wouldn’t have minded that, believe me, but, it wasn’t that kind of dream. It was simple in content yet, like I was really there. I tried to go back to sleep to pick back up where I left off and I think that added to my frustrating day. Then I remembered that I’m blessed for the few minutes I had and how amazing it was. I just wish it was real. We were able to take Miah’s girlfriend lunch today and he saw her for a couple of minutes. That did him good. I can’t imagine being a kid and not going to school, not having the routine that you’re used to, not seeing your friends on a regular basis. He was stoked to be able to hug her and then to bring her lunch. I’m glad I could make it happen. I’m teaching the boy that it’s about the small things.
I wanted to scream, I felt myself turning into sadness and I did stay in that place longer than I should have. The bright side, well, the bright side is that I realized what I was doing, that I remembered there is a bright side and that’s currently the side I am writing from. Shit happens right? We’ve seen Forrest Gump, they even turned the phrase into memorabilia. Lol. Not every day is going to be sunshine and roses. Blah days are going to come, I know this. I fell prey to it and it didn’t feel very good. I am not used to living in the dark anymore and these days remind me of that and that I don’t want to go back. Can’t make me do it! Lol
I had a friend send me a song that caught me off guard. I didn’t see myself that way and it actually brought me to tears in a good way. It got me thinking. Music is such a big part of my life. I have songs for people, for moments, for things, and then I think about the songs that people have told me that remind them of me. I think that when you hear a song and the person that pops in your head says so much about your relationship with that person. Have you ever thought about that? I listened to music today with that thought on my mind. For example, that song “Move Bitch” by Ludacris, my son’s father cheated on me with, well, he cheated on me and that is the song that made me think of her. I would sing it around her after I found out. Til this day, every time the song come on, I think of her. Today “You’re Still the One” came on by Shania Twain and although I have never dedicated that song to anyone, someone came to mind, immediately, without question. Just like I heard “Inspire Me” by Big Sean and I know that’s a song that Miah dedicates to me. He thinks of me when he hears that song so now I think of him. Are there any songs that make you think of someone? Not even a specifically dedicated song, I mean if a random song was to come on the radio right now, who would be the person that came into your head? The answer is so very important to your life.
Here’s some songs to think about: Just the two of us – Will Smith, Simple Man – Shinedown, Survivor – Christina Aguilera, At Last – Etta James, She’s Everything – Brad Paisley, Lean on Me – Bill Withers, Shots, Shots, Shots- LMFAO, and I don’t know what else. I just tried to name some random ones. Think about that the next time you listen to music.
Well, I have more Government work to do and another lecture to listen to before I do my work. So, I better get to it. I hope I gave you something to think about. I hope you had a better day than me but know, I am ending my day with my babies and a smile on my face. I’m in good company and peace has found it’s way back to me. Life is what we make it and I’m drawing sunshine and Raiyhn – bows!