Celebrating a Birthday

I celebrate the birth of the one whom my heart belongs to. Although we are not together, I thank God today for this man. For blessing Earth with such a smart, determined, open-minded and loving individual. He is so much more than his looks and, his faults, make him human and relatable. I give thanks to the Lord above for allowing our paths to cross and the gift of knowing the sound of his voice as the words I love you pass through his lips. I cherish his kisses, hugs and the way he smiles for just me. All of the silly times we have laughed together and the moments that we’ve held each other as the weight of the world seemed to be crushing one or both of us. I remember our strength as we proved naysayers wrong and even in opposition we found love in each other.

Today is a special day for me. It’s a special day for anyone who has ever had the pleasure of coming in contact with this amazing man. My heart is celebrating another year for him on this Earth and hurting that I am not sharing it with him. I made sure not to cry today although the tears are right there if I decided to give in. Instead, I give thanks. I will remain positive as I do not wish to cast a shadow on this day. Only good thoughts and vibes today. God broke the mold with him and one day, he will come into his own and when he looks in the mirror, he will finally see the man that I’ve seen all along. He will see the man that I love, the man that I have loved even when the reflection didn’t match his heart and soul.

I read something lately, a man interviewed his friends grandfather that was married for like 80 years and he asked how his wife and him made it last for so long. He said that he allowed her to grow and change, and although she wasn’t the woman he married, he learned to the love the new version of her, he said he loved about 8 different women in the span of their marriage but, because at the soul of it, she was still her, it was easy to love the better versions of herself that she become. I thought that was beautiful. I tried to stay the same because I didn’t want to change from the woman he fell in love with. I was afraid of losing him. I am so different now and yet, I still am madly in love with that man and I am the me I think he saw all along. I think I finally see me through his eyes. I pray for the day that I can show him, that I can be loved for the woman I am, by me and him at the same time. If and when we get the chance, it’s going to be magical.

Until then, I pray for healing, peace and happiness, I wish him the happiest of birthdays and knowing that he should be with his mini-me, with my little, fills my heart with happiness for their time together.

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