Out With the Old, In With the New

I took the Full Moon very seriously, I don’t think I have ever prayed harder in my life. I asked God to help me cleanse what I needed to let go of so that I had the focus to endure what was coming my way. I prayed and prayed and cried and prayed and fell asleep praying. I woke up many times while sleeping and would pray myself back to sleep again. This morning I was so nervous and unsettled so, I put myself back to sleep, praying again until I dozed off. When I woke up, all the worry had washed away. Thank you, Lord!

I went through my day with a new sense of purpose and a renewed faith in myself and the power of God. I got to work on my schooling, I took my Statistics quiz and received 90 out of 100, I was sweating bullets but, I read everything carefully and made sure I followed my gut. I have been praying continuously throughout this day… I needed anyone up there listening to hear me out. I wasn’t able to keep my head in my books and I’m okay with that, just this once.

As I sit here writing this, I was Desperately Seeking Stephie and today, the woman I am and the woman I have been working so hard to be are the same. I am on the path that is destined for me. I stepped into the power that I’ve always had and been too blind to see. I have come full circle, being able to acknowledge things I have not been able to and assume the responsibility of who I am. I have a lot of work ahead of me. I will never stop growing and learning and becoming a better version of myself but, I will always be me and there’s no one else I’d rather be. My family needs me, needs my strength, my steadfast mentality to keep the train chugging along. I’ve had my moments of weakness and doubt and they are in the rearview mirror. I am empowered, I spoke my truths in the discussion forum of my classes and they lit the spark inside of me to take charge and make shit happen. I always follow the rules but, sometimes civil disobedience is necessary, even within our own lives. So, I’m off script, I’m coloring outside the lines, I’m calling an audible. Let’s do this, have faith that this woman is bound and determined to see her dreams through.

I’m fighting with all that I am, I will never be lost again, I will never be too weak to fight for what’s mine. My heart is pounding and a fire is burning inside. I am confident that God has been preparing me for all that’s coming my way. I have to remember the lessons I’ve learned, humble myself and always look to Him when I’m unsure of my next move. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

I am love, I am loved, I am strong, I am confident, I am beautiful, I am courageous, I am a fighter, I am a winner, I am a survivor, I am a thriver, I am a believe, I am faithful, I am determined, I am healthy, I am abundant, I am blessed, I am smart, I am kind, I am healed, I am forgiven, I am a forgiver, I am growing, I a learning, I am worthy, I am enough, I am Stephie.

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