Tonight is a full moon in Libra. Libra is an air sign, as is Gemini (hi, I’m a Gemini). I just saw something this week stating that Gemini and Libra are the best match, what, what? Booyah! Haha…
Anyways, on to what’s on this mind of mine. Tonight during the full moon we are supposed to release the things that aren’t for us and welcome in the ones that are. I went outside not too long ago and prayed to God under the big beautiful moon. I called on my ancestors, angels, guardians, whomever was listening to hear my prayer. I affirmed that my intentions are pure, and I am in the right mindset to successfully achieve what I desire.
Is it silly that I it’s like I’m spinning in circles and every time I complete a rotation, I’ve grown, changed, learned something new, evolved, something? Like how cool is that? My brain is absorbing information and my mind is changing on subjects I didn’t even know I cared about. I just sent my friend my topic of discussion for Government, being a history teacher, they said that they think the best way for change is slow and gradually through the courts. I politely had to disagree. I said that ten years ago perhaps I would have taken that stance but now, in this day and age with social media and influencers, it starts with making noise, peaceful noise but noise nonetheless. We have to wake up these old white men, make them shake in their boots a bit in order for them to actually pay attention enough to take an interest and rule in favor of change. If not, it’s all just another day at the office. I don’t support violence and I will not advocate for it but, sometimes doing the wrong thing for the right reasons is necessary. I follow laws and rules and everything but I deeply believe in the gray in a situation.
Jeremiah is watching Grey’s Anatomy with his girlfriend right now (on Facetime), and it made me think. I am Meredith Gray. I used to be Christina Yang, I was even Izzy Stevens or even Lexie Gray, never as confident of myself as Maggie Pierce or messed up as Emilia Shepherd (although I thought I was), but, now, I am Meredith. I am emotional and I care deeply about those I love, I am stronger than I have to be because of the cards I’ve been dealt, I can do fine by myself but, I’m woman enough to long to share this life with the one I love. Wow, ya me….
I don’t know, I guess what I am saying is tonight I am praying for a big, huge, life altering step forward. I believe in what I’ve been able to accomplish, I’m hoping that God feels the same. I’m betting on myself, and just typing that I made me cry. I know a lot of what I say may be redundant to you sometimes but, I write what I feel and there are moments of revelations in these pages. I always feel like the underdog, that I am swimming against the current, that I was held back when everyone else started the race, but, this turtle <3, this turtle, has noticed how far she has come, through tears, through moments of self destruction and hatred, if I could bet all my chips on myself tonight to prove to God that I know I have the winning hand, that I know what I want, what I need, what I have to offer to finally live the life we were meant to live, I would do it. So, like the little drummer boy, I am offering the changed woman I am tonight to Him in hopes that my prayer will be answered. It is a Full Moon in Libra after all and October is a magical month for me.