Everyone Needs a Little Fun

We have been cooped up in the house for so long and now that Jeremiah and I are both in school, there is even more reason to stay home. But, we just couldn’t take it anymore. I am still exhausted from not being able to sleep, this 3 or 4 hours a night thing is just not cutting anymore but, I digress. We had decided to go out and have a little fun!

I haven’t gotten dressed up in a while, what was the point? It’s hot and why waste makeup, etc. I have been living in leggings and tank tops and Miah in basketball shorts, a shirt and if we go out, he wears his slides (which if you know him, he won’t leave the house without his Vans on). Today, we got to get dressed up, I mean not fancy, but, it was dressed up none the less and had a great time. We had so much fun, well, I know I did, I felt like a kid and free. Yes, we wore our masks and we social distanced but, even with my bothersome mask, I didn’t think about Coronavirus, I was too busy having a great time.

I am sitting here super tired but, I had to finish an assignment that was due by midnight and thought I would pop on to share my day. I am a wonderful kind of exhausted right now. I gotta tell you, having that kind of fun, I felt guilty. I wonder if it will ever pass. I mean it’s the weekend, and we only did things as a family. I mean sometimes Miah wouldn’t go but, he’s a teenager, but, my little, he was my sidekick, especially if fun was to be had. I thought about him so much and as I said, felt guilty because I was doing something without him. I know he is living his life without me, but, it’s not something I did. It was rare if we did something without waiting for him. He would have had a blast… and that’s what I kept with my while I had my fun, if he were here, he’d be smiling ear to ear.

Maybe it’s the sleep deprivation, maybe I am delusional, I feel so happy and so sad at the same time today. I was doing my schoolwork earlier and could not concentrate. I mean to the point where I had to stop reading and take a moment to pray to God. To ask him for a reprieve, that he knows what I want, what I need, what’s weighing on my mind and it’s not going to change if I could just set it aside for a few hours so that I could get my work done. I am determined to succeed, to see it through and I needed His assistance allowing me to do so. I took some deep breaths and reminded myself that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me and I got it done, even got a perfect score on my quiz.

All in all, it was a good day. I laughed and played and for moments at a time, I forgot about the issues we are facing in the world, and the aches in my heart. I have no control over either yet, they have a control over me that I can’t seem to shake. I can accept where I am at, and continue to pray for guidance. I can tell you one thing, a friend said something that rubbed me the wrong way and I took notice of how I contribute to the way I am treated. I don’t have to concede or accept a behavior to keep a friend. If they’re your friend, they’ll do better, otherwise, go ahead and “block” me, you’d probably be saving me the hassle of doing it later. Okay, seriously, I need some sleep. Until tomorrow…

Oh, in case you are interested… AND, look at how long my hair is! Haha…

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