Giving Love

I am in a loving kind of mood today. I am still not getting much sleep at night and today I have had a very difficult time focusing but, I have exuded love, like, it’s coming out of my ears. 🙂

I have given out quite a few compliments and not even realized that I was on a role until I started receiving them back. My people all seem to be finding their way in life, in this horrible year and since I am all about positivity these days, I decided to share my thoughts with them. One of my friends, she is raising some strong ass young ladies, her eldest daughter just took Senior portraits today and although she is not my child, just knowing her makes me as proud as a peacock. This young lady is doing BIG things in our community, being the change she wants to see in the world and I know that all her strength and determination stems from her momma and how she was raised. Her momma gives me strength so, I shared my love for them and I can’t believe the kind words that were given back in return. It’s all about women lifting women up right?

Another girlfriend of mine posted a picture of herself and I commented that she was gorgeous, she replied back to me that she learned how to be classy from me. Typing that makes me want to cry. Like, what a compliment! I am blessed to know some incredible women. I am in awe of how they get knocked down but always get back up and persevere. I get used to feeling like a wallflower watching all of them blossom. Then there are days like today when they express to me that, in their eyes, I am their equal. That, I am blossoming too, that I’m not a wallflower and that I had a part in the person they are now. There is no greater compliment. I am floored that two different women, two that don’t know each other and are strong in their own right, they see me as a powerhouse. I can’t explain my gratitude.

There were other moments today that were incredible as well. I made dinner this morning, well started the crockpot and then finished it this evening. It was my first time making that and I didn’t do it as good as I hoped so, I was beating myself up. My Uncle then asked what I would do differently if I could, I told him and he said that was exactly what he would do and thanked me for making dinner. I was upset for not hitting it out of the park but, I tried something new and I know better for next time. My frowns are turning upside down. I have had such a hard time focusing. I should be almost done or completely done with Government homework by now and I haven’t started. Well, I did and kept re-reading the same few paragraphs over and over and didn’t retain anything because my mind was wandering so I had to walk away from it. It’s not that it’s hard, I mean, it’s a lot of work, but, my mind, it has a mind of it’s own! Haha!

I’m saying what I have to say. I had a conversation with my Uncle last night and it didn’t go as expected. He opened my eyes to some flaws I honestly didn’t think were a big deal, but, to men, I am now educated that they are. Along with that, I have to speak up about what I want. So, I’m not just taking that as relationship advice. Social Media is a big deal for a majority of the population. When we post, we do so for others to see what we want them to see. We are looking for praise or confirmation or something, that’s why we do it. A lot of the time, I will look at something and keep scrolling because I don’t want to take the time to like or comment. But, if I feel compelled, I am going to do so, you never know who needs to hear what you have to say. I was told that my words are powerful and I don’t know how much they mean. I don’t speak just to hear myself speak and I definitely don’t comment for that reason. If I comment, I do it with intention. So, if I think you look pretty in that picture, I am going to tell you, if you lost 5lbs and you’re feeling great, I’m going to jump on the bandwagon to support you, I’m going to lift my friends up and in turn, I am going to elevate myself to a new level. Love given is love received. It doesn’t fill the holes I have but, it makes me feel good knowing that I am spreading the love I have and not keeping it to myself. I know there have been days where I felt so invisible, where I needed anyone to see me, to be kind and nothing happened. We don’t know people’s struggles but, I know that kindness is contagious and if I bless someone with a compliment, perhaps they will in turn do the same for someone else.

I was expressing my admiration for my friends today, honestly and truly, I was not looking for anything in return but, they showed up with the big guns and gave me the same amount of love back. What’s more, and maybe what I needed today, is, I thought I was on the sideline, benched, even with all of this work I have been doing. I see these women out on the field doing their thing as I sit on the bench, like third string, uniform is pristine because I am never going to get a chance to be on the field. Both of these women through their comments proved I am on the field, I am in the game, I am first string, and at least once in their lives, I have been the quarterback and many other positions in their game. What an honor. I just want to cry. The level of respect I have for them is outstanding, they are big hitters in my book and to think that to them I am competing on their level, I may need to rethink how I see myself. How can I move on to bigger and better things when in my head I’m playing the bench and to the ones I love, I’m consistently on the field making plays? Those are two different realities being put out into the universe and when it comes to my story, my perspective holds more weight. Let’s get this turned around Stephie, the game isn’t over yet.

Give it a try. Anything you need to tell someone? Anyone that you could compliment? You may be surprised with what you receive in return. Remember though, you’re not doing it for anything in return, you’re doing it to gift someone else. It has to come from the right place for it to be meaningful. I may be lacking focus this evening but, I am overflowing with the love and kindness of pretty amazing women. Blessings upon blessings on my life. xo

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