Dude, I had some positive stuff that I was planning to discuss today but that all went to shit. I am so fucking tired of people doing whatever they want with no regard for others. Like you want to do something stupid, go ahead, but keep that shit to yourself.
My son was on TikTok earlier and all I hear him say is he can’t believe what he just saw. He then told me that people were posting about a live stream where a guy said something then put a shotgun under his chin and pulled the trigger. He said that his stomach felt weird and he couldn’t believe what he just saw. What am I supposed to say to that?
Now, you can start your bullshit that he shouldn’t see that stuff. He was on TikTok. Everyone is on TikTok, he’s 15. Why did that person go live with it? Why did others share without warning the viewer? This ties in with wearing masks. Yes, you have the freedom to do what you want but, not at the expense of someone else. I am frustrated.
In my classes, having to write about e-democrqcy and then the influence that media has over their viewers. We think we are so independent but, are we really? Everyone goes around talking about how they are “woke” but, are those just words? I consider myself to be very liberal, very open minded and it wasnt until my last relationship that I learned otherwise. I was open to a lot, but, I did not really know or understand what was going on. I have strong opinions about certain things, I support or like particular people and with AI, all of that is recorded and then people with similar agendas or that I can relate to are put in front of me. For example, I am a Democrat, I am more liberal than conservative, I am for the people. I do not watch CNN or MSNBC, I don’t care to hear what rich white men have to say. But, that also means that I’m closed off to the opinion of others.
Nowadays we really aren’t one party against another. There are so many different ways to think but, unfortunately, when we vote in the presidential election, we have to vote party. Since we know that there are two major parties and if you’re not voting with one of them, you’re essentially throwing your vote. That’s crazy right? It’s just another way for that top 10% to keep the masses at bay. Distract us, tell us there’s only one way and scare us into thinking we are with them or we don’t matter.
I’m tired of feeling like I don’t matter. I’m over not doing something because I don’t think it will count and so what’s the point. I am a smart, confident woman with a passion in my soul. I have a big mouth and I’m good with words. I may need to do my part with civil engagement. I never used to just sit back and let shit happen to me, I stood up and made myself heard. If someone didnt like it, well, see ya!
Going back to school, I’m finding out just what I am capable of. I finished my first week today. It wasnt as easy as I thought but, fuck, did it make me thing. I’m impressed with what I learned and what my classmates had to say. I must admit, the division between the teenagers and us older students is obvious. Maybe this is the platform I’m being given to be the change. I can educate these kids so they know how powerful they are but, with great power comes great responsibility (spiderman) and they have to be educated, they need to speak or write from a place of knowledge, allow others to decipher what’s fact and opinion. We are all walking around with half truths but, that’s detrimental to everyone’s cause.
I have so much on my mind. I’m a teeter totter and I’m working on my balance. I’m happy but I am sad. I am confident but I’m self conscious. I am up and I am down. I think I’m transitioning again and I wasnt prepared. I know I am blessed. I know that God is working in my favor, even through my frustration, I never doubt that. Wow, did some important songs come on the radio tonight. I’m here, putting in work, paying attention to the signs, doing what I need for God to reveal what’s next for us.