Dance With Me

Dancing is just a conversation between two people, talk to me.

I love to dance. I mean, I love to dance. I like dancing by myself but there is nothing like dancing with a partner. When you have the right one, everything is magical and you feel as if you are dancing in the clouds. It’s kind of crazy how little I’ve gone dancing in my adult life. How I’ve let something that brings me so much joy be on the sidelines for such a long time. When I go, man, I don’t want to leave. I want to be on the dance floor the whole night. Especially if it’s a slow song and it’s just you and your partner, bodies pressed together, the heat from their breath on your neck as you two move about the dance floor, there’s nothing like it. I’ve been with guys that didn’t like to dance and would rarely take me, I remember my grandma asking how I could be with someone that won’t take me to do something I love so much. I brushed it off but, she was right. I found an amazing dance partner and although we didn’t go often, when we did, we were so in sync, it was like we were the only two on the dance floor. Our dancing I thought, was a reflection of our life, when we were together, nothing else mattered. We just clicked and our bodies moved as if we’ve been dancing our whole lives together.

All I’ve wanted lately is to dance. I want to put on a good song and two step. Dress up real nice, be asked to dance, reach my hand out to a hand that is strong and comforting and be pulled into arms that will protect me from the world, from hurt, from myself. I want to look up into eyes that see only me, and a huge smile that’s there because of me. Then a beautiful song starts playing, how about “You and Me” (that’s what’s on right now). It truly feel like it’s only you and me, dancing, against the world, in this together. I’ll cry happy tears and he’ll pull me closer, reminding me that the bad days are behind me. He’ll know exactly what I’ve been through, and he’ll accept me as I am – flaws and all. In those few minutes I’ll be able to breathe again, I can put down the weight that’s on my shoulders knowing that I don’t have to do this by myself anymore. That I am worthy of a forever love. The mistakes I’ve made in the past are just that, mistakes and I do not need to carry the guilt or shame and he will not try to define me by them. I will be forgiven and I will forgive.

I’m dancing alone at the moment and it’s not the same. But, I know that it will make me appreciate a partner a lot more if and when the time ever comes again. I may not see the light at the end of the tunnel but, I know it is there. And, I may be dancing by myself and that’s okay, at least I am dancing. It will be more often when I have my own place again. I will have my own space to shake and wiggle and move. I can slow dance with my pillow or try silly TikTok dances in front of the mirror. I’m going to learn line dances so I can go boot scoot when the times comes. Dancing is better with a partner but, it can be done alone and instead of dreaming and wishing and dwelling on what I am without, I will work with what I’ve got. I’ve got me, and I know now that, that’s a lot! I wrote a poem in high school, I wish I could find it… it talked about different things, an engagement ring, she’ll sing, a wedding dress, she says yes, and some other things but the last sentence said, but, for true romance, she’ll dance. That’s me! I have waited longer than most for a first dance and the wait has been extended indefinitely. I may not be able to dance in a white dress in front of the people I love but, I can do so in the privacy of my room for God and all of my angels to see, with a smile on my face and a prayer in my heart.

Shut up and dance with me!

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