Celebrations

Jeremiah is now 15 years old. Also. According to him, today is Raiyhn’s birthday as well. We got her around this time 2 years ago so he decided they share a birthday. I can’t believe how the time has flown by. These kids are what motivate me and keep me going when I have good reason to throw in the towel. Today, I celebrate them and thank God for letting me be their momma.

So….school started and I’m actually doing pretty well. It is the first day and teachers usually ease students into school so let’s see if I’m singing the same tune in a month. I focused on one class today and almost got everything done for week one. I am still waiting on some books to work on one of the other classes. All in all, this is bringing some organization and discipline back into my life. I can tell you it’s a bit difficult to think if I have a question I have to email a teacher and wait for them to respond. Distant learning is so foreign to me. I’ve got this though, I’ve always been a good student.

I had a much needed cry earlier this evening when I found a few minutes to myself. It was not my intention but when our song came on the radio I lost it. I started to put up a fight and then gave in. I allowed myself to cry, to express my heartbreak freely since there was no one around to judge. I let it out and then when I pulled up at the house, I wiped my tears and went about my business.

I need a place or space to call my own. I am being patient but, I’m frustrated. I know everything will happen in God’s perfect timing.

I’m realizing that I will be pushed further out of my comfort zone than I’ve ever been in these classes, especially Political Science. I usually bury my head in the sand and don’t get involved. This class will help me understand what’s going on and why but then I will be forced to discuss it in a discussion forum and respond to two people’s responses each week. I have to come up with an educated opinion based off facts and then either agree or disagree with two comments utilizing facts to back-up my response. I mean, I am diving in head first into the deep end. Ah! I guess this is the best time to do it though, I’m the head of my household and need to make sure that come election time I am making the right decisions for my family. I doubt I’ll involve myself in any of the social media back and forth…that shit’s just nonsense. I know it’s my responsibility to participate in civil engagement but, I’ll have to figure out how later.

All of this college talk is really making me think about my future and what it’s going to look like. I had a former associate reach out to me today. He was a vendor I worked closely with at my last job. We got caught up as we both don’t work at the same places anymore and then we chatted about me going back to school. He asked why I was interested in doing what I want to do and etc. It was nice to have a grown up conversation with someone that understands what it is I want to do. I’m even more pumped for this. Perhaps I should reach out to other contacts for their assistance on how I can get my feet wet now. Why wait? This BossBabe has to make shit happen. I’ve got dreams to make come true.

I’m all about the little things and simple gestures go a long way in my book. Some were lost today while others came through loud and clear. Make time for me and I’ll make time for you. If something matters, you’ll remember it, you’ll go out of your way to make someone feel special. I miss that feeling but, people showed up for my boy today on social media and I am forever thankful.

I have to finish up my work and go to bed so I can do this all over again in the morning. Thanks for being on this ride with me. My posts should get more interesting as I get further into school. Stick with me!

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