The Right Tools

I’m sure you e been in a position at least once in your life where you’ve had everything you needed to complete something or accomplish something and for some reason it wasnt working. Well, I think that’s how a lot of us parents are feeling with this distant learning. I am blessed that I have this time with my son to help him navigate through this and I feel for the parents that can’t be there.

We have had SO many issues with technology. First off, we are working off of a hotspot and not regular wi-fi. Then with these iboss blocked site popups…ugh. This morning Jeremiah and I were switching back and forth from his chromebook to my laptop and then the hotspot and the one on his phone and mine. He still kept having connectivity issues. We were getting so frustrated. I almost had to drive to a friend’s house so he could connect to their wi-fi. I mean, ain’t that some shit? Next week teachers are going to mark students tardy and I’ll be damned if Miah getting marked tardy because of wi-fi issues. It’s not our fault he can’t go to school. I have faith that we will figure something out this weekend.

I have been feeling this way all week. I am very smart and talented and I know God has equipped me with everything I need to live the life of my dreams. I am just trying to figure out how all the pieces fit into the puzzle. I know there are a million variables BUT, there is only ONE correct way to piece the puzzles together so they will fit correctly. That is what I am working on. I’ve had all the pieces before and lost some…sometimes a few, I’m not letting that happen again. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. This fool has been fooled enough to last several lifetimes.

Anyways, I am still hung up on The Ramen Girl. I am super inspired. I think that’s what kept my spirits up today when the whole school stuff was getting hectic. Throughout this journey, I have learned how to listen to what’s not being said, I have relaxed enough to hear myself think and internalize my feelings. I am moving with more grace and confidence. I am speaking from a place of abundance and not lack. My heart may be broken but, it’s still beating. I know I have what it takes to get where I’m going… I just haven’t figured out the destination. I think because I’m not there yet and that’s okay. I know when I see it or feel it, I’ll just know like everything else I feel that way about.

I have noticed such changes in me, how I think, what’s important and what I’m willing to spend time on. I’m not on social media as much as I used to be. I check it periodically but honestly, I check my email so much more. I’m researching things online and checking on the status of different things I’m working on. Of course, I write my blog every night. All of the hateful stuff around politics just makes me stray from Facebook and Instagram.

I’m so over people telling me what I think and how I feel because I associate with one party. My political party does NOT define me. It only comes into play during an election year. Other than that, it doesn’t matter. My opinion on things differ on each subject and I refuse to be bullied into a definition of who I am or what I believe in so that I can be attacked for it. We can agree to disagree and be done with it. Until you’ve lived a day in my shoes, you don’t have to understand why I believe so firmly on certain things and could care less about others. I don’t judge others, think what you want but, don’t force your opinions on me. There are many subjects I am not educated on and therefore I do my best not to pretend to be knowledgeable on the subject. If asked, I will give my best opinion but willingly listen to the opposition to be educated on the topic. There are a few things I will not budge on and that’s that. Okay, tangent acknowledged.

Back on subject, I have all the parts I need for me. I am finally reading the owner’s manual I guess, it only took me this long. My puzzle, it’s missing pieces but, I am not. I am a whole person. A whole person with a whole lot of love and smarts and support and talent to share. With some more listening, getting out of my own way, I will figure it out. I will find my ramen and even my Toshi. I have all the faith in the world. I hope you can say the same. We are wasting daylight!

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