Fear of the Unknown

How can I be able to correct other aspects of my life and yet this one keeps evading me? I stop myself in my tracks more often than not and it’s really pissing me off. I know in my heart of hearts that I’ve got this. I know I rather try and fail than never try at all and still, I worry myself crazy.

I have so many ideas, so many things I want to do and I am tired of it all being talk. I’ve broken through on some things and as the start of them nears, the more I find myself stressing if I’m going to be able to do it. I know I don’t have a choice. I know that our future depends on me being able to get shit done. There’s no one else for us to count on. I see so many others just doing it. I hear ET and I am so inspired to take the plunge. I guess I have to just keep taking those small steps. Eventually they’ll add up to something bigger.

I’m tired of being the jack of all trades. Before it was a plus to be good at so many things but now, you’re supposed to be a master of at least one. I don’t give myself the opportunity because when things get hard and there’s a chance at failing. I find an excuse to bail. I don’t want to be that person anymore. I’m not that person. I know that’s why I’m facing my fears and finishing certain things that I started. It’s about time.

Fearing the unknown, it’s pointless. The unknown is not known because the outcome is to be determined. But, stopping before you start, well, that’s full out failure. I know that I usually do well at what I attempt and I am always willing to learn something new. Now it’s a matter of walking the walk. 2020 has been filled with new challenges and although I have not succeeded at some, the fact that I didn’t give up means i wasnt a failure. I just have to remember who I’m doing this for, what my motivation is.

We’ve got plans and things won’t get accomplished if I don’t go for it. I think it’s time for me to take another leap forward, further out of my comfort zone. I mean, my confidence has been sky high lately and everything seems to be coming together the way it’s supposed to. I can’t back down now…now that I finally feel comfortable with not having a plan, with the woman I am right now, with letting go of what’s not meant for me. I need to be full steam ahead while the yucky feelings are not here.

I’m not afraid of what the future has for me. Each day I wake up grateful that God guided me successfully through the day before. Slowly but surely we are inching towards what we want in this life. We are doing it. We are beating the odds! I’m still an over thinker and my mind gets the best of me sometimes but that’s when I have to pause and converse with God. He has proven time and time again that He will provide if I just believe. New things are coming our way and we are going to be ready. As long as I am true to myself, there’s nothing or no one that’s going to stop me.

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