I’ve been so distracted by willing my life to go the way I want it to. Impatient to see it look the way God has promised it to be. Not able to truly take away from lessons and experiences what I should because I was too preoccupied. Then from watching a movie, you can see the whole picture and focusing on one aspect of my life seems like such a waste of time.
I feel whole. I am complete. My family is a good size and my dreams, well, they are being worked out to come to fruition in perfect timing. My heart is not sad, my eyes don’t have any tears to cry. I am alive. I have the opportunity to do whatever I may and no one will get in my way. I am backed by my almighty God.
I am sure of me, I know I can be counted on. Good or bad, happy or sad, I will always love my people. Its deeply engrained into who I am. I am doing the same for me. Building walls, gaining confidence and understanding how to successfully be this woman for the rest of my life.
Life is never easy and things rarely go the way I want them to. That’s okay. One day, someone will be so scared of losing me that they won’t run away. They’ll choose to dig their heels in and stay… oh wait, it’s already happened! It’s me. I choose me every damn day of the week. This world is scary but, I am ready for what’s in store.
I’ve seen hard work and dedication to make something work. I’ve seen all I want work in other situations. I know the sacrifice it will take and I know I am up for the task now that my mind is right. I am a force to be reckoned with. I am one of a kind. I overthink, love to much and forgive to quickly… but I am genuine and my heart is always in the right place.
These revelations are far from over. I am excited to see what else I will come to learn. Happiness is found in the simplicity of life. When you add things it just complicates everything. Be happy with where you’re at and you’ll get to where you’re going quicker. I’m done looking to the future for my happiness, for my level of success to be measured. That’s a bunch of bullshit. I’m happy now and the fact that I’ve stayed committed to this blog when I had more than one reason to quit, I’d call that a success.
I sincerely apologize for this roller coaster we are on. No, actually I don’t. I like roller coasters. I never want my life to be predictable again. Good things are heading my way. Love, abundance, health and happiness. Who could ask for me? I’m blessed beyond measure and the view is spectacular. I just had to get out of my own way to find out what I’m made of and what I’m working with.