Life is messy and society makes it seem easy to walk away when things get hard or when you don’t go your way. Nobody is perfect and it take commitment and hard work to keep something together for so long. That’s it though, you don’t always have to like someone to love them, you need to choose to love them even when you hate them. The butterflies and all of that, that’s just in the beginning. It fades away and that’s when you truly get to love life with someone.
To really be with someone, that’s when you learn all their little quirky habits. When the newness wears off, that’s when the work begins but, you see, it never ends. I don’t understand how we are supposed to have a student mentality our whole life, a growth mindset but, putting in work for a relationship, for a life you’re building with someone isn’t the same thing. Leaving is easy, so many people do it nowadays. Staying, that says something about a person.
Look at Will’s eyes. He loves Jada and to continue to love her, he has to accept and forgive her transgression. He has not forgotten though, you can feel it. People say to get over someone you should get under another. Those people are disgusting and have truly never loved another soul. Getting over someone takes time and healing. Slipping between the sheets with another when there’s unfinished business just causes more hurt. She should have looked within herself. They are lucky though, this could have broken them and they chose to persevere. I give him much credit.
No one is exempt from heartache or heartbreak. Neither care how much money you make, the kind of house you live in, if you’re a good person, go to church, vote, both can find you if either person in the relationship allows it. Getting to the breaking point, more often than not, that is not done alone. The next step, that’s where we separate the strong from the weak.
This touched me, it hurt me, it taught me. I’m not the only one. So many have been in my shoes and so many will follow. What am I going to do about it? I know the truth. I know what I had, I know what was shared, I know what was lost. I don’t need anyone else to validate that. I am in love. So very in love. But, all of this is happening for a purpose and I’m not in a place to be in a relationship. I’ve fought for us with all I had. I am fighting for me now. I am fighting for my happiness, for my sanity, for my future. I am fighting my demons, I am making amends with my past, letting go of the things that were holding me back. So, even though my heart hurts, right now, I have to choose me. I have to show up for me.
I’ve spent too much time stunting my growth stressing over things I cannot control. I have to grow into the woman I am meant to be. With that is the faith that God will show me the way and what’s meant for me. I’m not ready to walk away, but, I don’t see that I am. I’ve given all of that to Him at the moment and in turn, He is guiding me. I’m focused on other things that will propel me to where I am meant to be. My life revolves around me for a change. I feel at peace with that.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.