So, I planned last night to go out and do things, something, anything and I decided against that. Not because I am choosing not to do for me but, part of me growing up, changing the things I didn’t like about me is money management. If I go out, I am going to want to spend money and although there are things I would like, they are not more important than what I need. Saving for our future is more than spending just to spend. I made the right decision.
Instead I made the most of my day at home. I was able to do some cleaning and organizing, going through clothes to see what I want and what I could get rid of, the boys have grown out of clothes that I have here. I got to watch some girly movies that I like and cuddle with my princess (she is fast asleep right next to me at the moment). Jeremiah and I went to the little store and then we made dinner together, something simple but, delicious. Now I am watching Love It or List It, well, because I want to buy a house and I love interior decorating. I was able to turn a day at home into doing what I want to do, choosing to do what I want. What a difference a new mindset makes. Nana should be home tomorrow so things will need to be adjusted but, hopefully we will be able to find our home soon and have our own space again. We are in desperate need.
My Uncle called me earlier, he was supposed to be released yesterday and that was postponed. He is totally bummed about it and I realized just how thinking negatively completely changes a situation. I know he wants to be home but, I also know that everything that is being done for him is for the best and I see good where he sees bad. I had to remind him of this and urge him to keep his spirits up. When he is living in the good, it’s easier for more good to find it’s way to him. That is something I needed to hear as well. My patience in certain areas of my life is running thin and when I notice that it’s not where it should be, I am able to correct and get back on course.
I am a complex woman if you have not figured that out just yet. Not because I want to be, it just works out that way. I love the simple pleasures, asking for little things but, I know that you’re supposed to ask God for the impossible because through Him, all things are possible. I don’t want to ask for much because I want to save my asks for things that do require God to move mountains. Praying and manifesting does not come easy to me. I’ve always said that if my man were to walk past a gumball machine and a ring in it makes him think of marrying me, then that’s the ring I want and I will wear it until it turns my finger green. It’s the thought that counts. As get older, and learn more lessons, I see what’s truly important and that’s what I want for my life. I want the simple pleasures, I want to be happy and loved, I want to love. I want my family with a roof over our head, a place that is ours to call home. To be able to share our lives with our friends and family and to be able to give back and do our part for God giving us the life we have. I don’t need millions of dollars or a mansion, only to wake up and be happy in the life I live, go through my day with thanks and end my day as happy as I was when I woke up.
I’m finding my way, I’m learning that I have to love myself enough to not care what others think. I’m claiming my power to be able to live my life and not have it lived for me. I’ll keep praying for miracles and still be pleased with the happiness I find in simplicity. The things that are lacking, God’s working on that. I’ve got to keep my faith, keep growing and keep an open mind. I’m as grateful and hopeful this evening as I was when I woke up and I didn’t have to spend money on frivolous things that I don’t need to feel a false happiness. Wow, Stephie chose chores and cooking over spending money and fast food. What the hell? My world is changing. Tomorrow is not promised, I am doing what I can to be who I want to be, still working on the do what I want to do. But, there are some things that are out of my control. Let it be….