I am so very tired, with less than 4 hours of sleep under my belt before my very long and kind of ridiculous day started. But, I am keeping my promise to me and ending my day filled with gratitude for making it through another day. I unfortunately proved that I have longer to go on this journey by how I let something bother me, I am aware of it though. Disappointed and aware.
What I want to say and what I should say and what you want to hear is all running through my head. Trying to find the direction for today is hard when factoring in if I want to keep to the high road or play in the mud. I’ll leave the pettiness to others and remain constant in my efforts.
Today was not what it should have been but, it was out of my control. The fact that I allowed something so inconsequential to upset me, reminds me that I am human, I am not void of emotion and there is no quick fix for what I am trying to accomplish. I have to put in the work to receive the outcome I expect. I will try and fail and as long as I get back up and try again, I’ll never consider it a true failure. I think what I am doing here is pretty brave and it takes commitment to stay the course day in and day out. It’s a shame when others try to place their judgement on someone else’s journey. I must remember, I am the captain of this ship, I write the story and I choose to channel my happy place.
I’m not looking forward to tomorrow but, I know that I’ll get through it. I have God and all my angels keeping a close eye on me. All I know is that whatever comes my way, as long as I have Jeremiah and Raiyhn, I can take it. They’re my motivation, my reason to smile.
Anyway, I’m falling asleep writing this and I better get to bed before my brain decides to stay up. I need some good rest and a fresh mind.