There was a time not so long ago that I didn’t believe good things would happen to me and if they did, something would come along and mess it up. I was so sure of this that I ended up messing things up myself. Looking back at it, I ruined everything regardless. I didn’t realize all of the good I did have, and I was the something that came along to ruin it, my disbelief in the good, my being oblivious to all of the good around me, I was the bad seed. What a fool I was. It is not easy to change your mindset but, when you lose what you were most afraid of losing because you weren’t working to keep it, you were too worried about losing it, you want to make sure never to make that mistake again.
Good is definitely all around me, all of the time. Now that the blinders are off, I can see all of it and it makes my heart so happy. I am overwhelmed with gratitude and spent most of today giving my thanks. When you have an attitude of gratitude, there is a sense of peace that comes over you. All of the negative is just pushed right away. This is how I have been living for almost a week now and it is incredible. Of course, my doubts set in and I start thinking that this can’t last but, I have to push that out of my head and immediately list what I am thankful for and all of the things that are happening in my life. I am learning to accept the good.
So, I bought a book to help with my manifestation and I am understanding the process more now. Simple tips to help me adapt to this new way of thinking and speaking what you want into existence. I am not just reaching and dreaming big, I know, in my gut that what I am asking for is meant for me. I don’t know how I know it’s a strong feeling that comes over me. I am not worried or scared it won’t happen, I know I can rise to the challenge and it actually makes me feel stronger and more determined to make it all come true. I am appreciative of all the time I have had to work on me and to know that this change is for the good and I have to embrace it with all that I have.
Today I caught myself crying because I was happy. I know, I sound crazy, I got overwhelmed with feelings of joy and wholeness. I had to stop and again give thanks to God for bringing to this point. I know it’s not easy, I am not easy, but, with perseverance, here I am doing what I have to in order to never go back to how I was. I will never accept less than what I deserve, I will never give less to those that I love than what they deserve, I will never drown in negative thoughts. I am a tough cookie but still full of love. I am more me than I have ever been. I’m so happy to like who I see looking back at me in the mirror. I’ll love her even more once I lose some more weight. I am trying….
Part of manifestation is realizing what you want and how you’ll feel when you receive it. Feelings are a big part of that and thankfully, I am very in tune with my feelings. I used to have this nervousness every day, just waiting for the other ball to drop. It was horrible. That has now gone away. My heart feels light and I have this feeling of calm come over me multiple times a day, sometimes with full body chills. Again, paying attention, I am not afraid of these changes. I am so blessed with how everything is happening. I will be journaling every day now to help me get this all down, for it to be habit. I’ll get it though, I am determined to not give up on this.
Tomorrow I have an exciting evening planned. I am so happy to be able to spend some time with special people. I am a good person and I deserve the good things that are coming my way. I am ready for what’s coming. We will see what tomorrow holds.