Paying Attention

On a normal day we are moving at such a fast pace all of the time. We don’t have time to relax, let alone pay attention to the little things. We are too busy just trying to make it through the day. I am guilty of this… Ms. Treading Water. We are all in a rush to get through the day instead of enjoying it, instead of reading signs that are meant for us, signs that would get us a promotion quicker, or find love faster, or help us save a life instead of attending a funeral. We never stop to wonder why, we all want a good life but some are too busy, too blind to see they already have a great life.

As I’ve said numerous times, I didn’t pay attention to signs, I tried but, I was doing one thing and already thinking about the next. So consumed with where I wasn’t that I didn’t realize where I was. I am so thankful for this time, I hear and see and process more signs now than I even thought were coming my way. Most of them are good and are pointing me in the same direction or so I think but it could be me trying to interpret what’s coming to me in the way I want it to be. I am still trying to figure that out. I think that’s the big decision I have coming my way.

There are certain things that I am noticing that for some reason I never noticed before. People that have been there for me through thick and thin, that have never left my side, always there to make me smile, never get the credit, never benefit from their good deeds, there because they love me. No matter how many times I push them away or cut them out, they come back stronger, supporting me and never making me feel guilty for what I’ve done. Those are the kind of people I need to hold on to, to keep close, to give them the time that they deserve.

This week I have had one friend that’s stepped up and been reaching out quite a bit, making me feel important, making me feel not as invisible as I have been feeling. Being secluded and only able to be with family all of this time has been so hard. They have their own family, their own stuff going on and still find the time for me, I am blessed and smiling because of it. Communication in this day and age is so easy. It’s simple to send a smiley face or a quick text without even a phone call. I’m reminded that to some, I am special and someone that is on their mind, enough that they are compelled to reach out, to let me know that I am on their mind. Damn, I am one lucky woman!

Makes me think about who we put our energy to. If we only have so much to give away, are we sharing with those that are reciprocating it? I have in the past taken from some only to give my attention, time, affection to others. Again, with this rat race we are in sometimes we don’t realize what we are doing. I have been blinded too many times and left feeling like a fool. Now if people reach out to me, I respond, I give them the time, the attention that they are giving me. Good vibes deserve good vibes. If people choose me, I am going to choose them.

Universe, I am paying attention, I hear what you are telling me. I know my life is changing and may never be the same. You are showing me who wants me, who will stand for me, who will choose me and I have to be ready to do the same. I have to make the right decision that will propel me forward into what’s meant for me. I know that I have a lot of work ahead of me but, I am up for it. I am so up for this next stage of my life. I hope that when life finds a level of normalcy again, I will be able to take time to see the signs. Everything God is doing in my life, all the orchestrating, it’s beautiful. I could only imagine what it looked like when all was right in my world, when I was happy, madly in love. How it looked when what I wanted matched what I was receiving, that must have been a magical sight…like a symphony. I’ll get there again one day and I will do my best to be able to watch it all unfold, to do right by myself because I am in tune with myself and the universe. I see you… I don’t know what’s next but, I see you.

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