I wrote a whole other post but, I can’t get the words right so it’s saved in drafts for another day. I have been such a grump and so indecisive. It’s been interesting to say the least today. I had a hard time sleeping and then was woken up when I was finally sleeping good. I had to deal with the ups and downs and uncertainty of if my uncle was going to be discharged today. That was a mess. I am gearing up to now have to take care of him when I am nearing the end of taking care of my Nana. I’m just all around kind of frustrated.
I did however have a real heart to heart with my mom and Nana. We were all stressing and so we were able to get some stuff out in the open. Sometimes you get so wrapped up in something or ahead of yourself that you’re actually working yourself up in the What If land. I had to bring my mom back to reality a few times because we are not at What If right now. It’s great to be able to speak freely though and for your words to be heard.
Oh my goodness, I watched a movie today thinking it would put me in a better mood but, it was not what I had pictured. It’s called The Kids are Okay or Alright or something…. it began good and then took a turn, it had sex scenes that I felt were unnecessary and the movie didn’t make me feel better. It wasn’t a bad movie it is just not what I was wanting for today. I needed something lighthearted and fun. I may have to see if I can find Sweet Home Alabama after I am done posting this because, that always makes me feel better!
My pretty pitty princess is asleep next to me on my freshly washed bedding and she is sleeping so peacefully, she is encouraging the calm I’ve been seeking all day. Simplicity brings the silence. I can feel her good energy being passed to me, her love filling me. She is heaven sent.
Things in my life are chaotic and up in the air and that’s normal for my life. I’m learning to handle it better and not lose my cool. This better version of me can assess and plan and jump into action in seconds all without turning into Chicken Little. I don’t have time for that!
Hormones suck, especially when there’s a lot on your plate already, being emotional is not something I want to do right now. Then again, there are so many things I am having to deal with right now that I don’t want to be. And… as my birthday nears, the thought of being another year older and the things I want for my life, the place in my life I thought I was going to reach this year, it’s hard. But, I’ll take a breath, remind myself how far I have come and have faith for my future. God is good all of the time.
Anyways, I hope the grumps will go away and maybe I can fix that other post to make sense and get that out tomorrow. We will see. Maybe Uncle Stevie will be discharged tomorrow? We will see. Haha. It’s a new day soon!
I need some sleep and a fresh attitude! Sleep well!