You are not defined by who you are at this moment or what you’ve done or said in the past. You are not the one that will ultimately decide what defines you. We have until the end of our lives, regardless of the length to grow, adapt, change, because until our last breath, there is no period. Our book is not finished being written and therefore we can and if we have not already done so, grab that pen and make some edits.
How we see ourselves is vastly different from anyone else’s opinion. Who we are changes with every interaction – that doesn’t mean we are fake, we treat our interactions differently with how we feel about or perceive another human being. For example, I am quiet around new people, feeling them out, letting them do the talking so they can show me who they are first but, once I get to know you and if we are compatible then I am silly and you can’t shut me up. Then there are people that are chameleons. Some would assume that is a strength, being able to adapt to any situation. In some instances it is but, when you are adapting to fit in, to be liked, to be like the company you are in, that shows an insecurity on your part. I am who I am, I don’t try to be anyone I am not, hell, if I was going to do that, I would have been someone I could stand to look at in the mirror way before now. I am slowly starting to learn that the things about me that I considered to be flaws are major strengths.
I have this fire inside of me and I’ve known since I was young that I was meant for greatness, to make a difference. I put that all aside for my family. Now I am going to do what I have to do, the fire has been ignited and the flames are growing larger by the minute. Clarity has come and I am seeing things clearly. I am pushing forward, trying to make moves but, in this time of quarantine it’s not visibly happening as quickly as I would like. I am practicing patience and instead of allowing myself to feel defeated when things are not happening how I planned, I am accepting life as it comes and rolling with the waves. I know that soon everything I have been working toward will all come to fruition.
I am not willing to be defined just yet, I’m currently making many edits to my story. Lots of additions and a few things are being removed…weight being one of them. Ha! I used to sit on my side of our bed and it was my own little corner of the world and would thing so negatively about myself. I would say horrible things to me and deemed myself a failure. The ugly I spoke brought more ugly and I sunk deeper into depression. What a difference thinking positively can make. It’s so much easier and more gratifying to speak praise and gratitude into your life. A smile looks way better than a frown and inspires others to smile in return. Life’s moments are meant to be treasured and I am so very thankful to be living with an opportunity to follow my destiny.
God doesn’t give us any more than we can handle. That’s doesn’t mean that some of us haven’t been pushed to the edge. As I have said, don’t let anyone define you, not even yourself, your story isn’t finished. What else do you want to accomplish? There’s always hope and a new day. Do what you want, love who you want, be the person you want to become, buy the house, eat the ice cream, forgive and ask for forgiveness. We only have this one life, don’t wait too long to follow your heart. Inspire others, be good to your people, because when all is said and done and your soul has left this earth, it’s those people that will define you. The people that knew you, that loved you, that believed in you…they are the ones that will tell your story. What they think of you, how you made them feel will determine how they speak of you, how you’ll be remembered.
I don’t want to be remembered as a single mom that worked a job to survive, was sad all of the time and too scared to get out of her comfort zone. I want so much more than that. Tomorrow is another day and my story isn’t over.