So I am getting ready to head out to the grocery store today. Gotta try to get some groceries to have an Easter dinner, and then just other necessities. We need a reason to smile, this week has been a long one. Thankfully tomorrow is Easter Sunday and I’ll get to tune into church. I can’t wait to hear the message from Pastor Obed and to worship!
Everything is becoming too real. Seeing posts of people that have passed due to Covid-19. Today’s venture out feels more like a mission. I have to make sure that I take every precaution because I can’t bring anything back to my Nana. I was looking forward to fixing my hair and makeup but, now my priority is safety. I will be going only to get what I need and then come home and jump in the shower. I wish we didn’t live so far away from everything that I could get items delivered, I wish that the plans that were made were still in effect. That I wasn’t having to do this by myself. I believe God is testing my strength, proving to me that when push comes to shove, I get shit done. I am able to put my fears aside and do the damn thing. Lol
We’re all a little crazy over here right now. Saying silly things and getting on each other’s nerves but, at the end of the day, we are thankful that we have each other and that we are safe. We are talking so much more now. Miah and I are downright silly and I love talking to his girlfriend, she’s such a sweetheart.My Raiyhn, she has been holding our hands a lot lately, and cuddling..especially when it’s raining. I know her name is Raiyhn but, my pretty pitty princess does not like the rain. She’s a goof.
The sun is out and I am hoping the rain washed all the bad away. We needed a clean slate, time to think about what’s important in life, and what we want for the future. Last night as I said my prayers, I had a long conversation with God. I gave forgiveness to people in my life that I’ve been holding grudges with, and with that, I forgave myself. My heart doesn’t feel bound and clouded with an ugly mess. I asked my angels to watch over me, told them of my deepest desire and asked for their guidance and assistance. My prayer to God is one that I’ve asked before, unfortunately more than once. This time though, instead of asking him to help me, I asked him to do this himself. In order for there to be change, I can’t influence the situation or I’m going to end up back here again. God can move mountains, and he can speak to your soul. When you listen with your heart, really listen, then you can find the truth and not what your head is saying. You have to follow your gut, I believe that’s God’s influence on us. Your head can and will fool you, it is easily swayed by outside influences and persuasions, what you think to be the truth. Your gut and your heart don’t lie.
I admit, I have not always followed my gut and those are some of the biggest mistakes I’ve made. We know what to do but we do what we think we have to. Even if what we think is wrong. But, you know, no one else has to live with the emptiness you feel afterwards, with the regret. So, when my gut tells me to not give up, I don’t. I wish everyone was that way. Our lives would be so much better.
Anyway, I got off on a tangent. I have to get my ass ready and yes, I will be cautious. Can’t be Happy & Healthy in 2020 without the Healthy part. I pray that God and our angels find a way to take care of the Happy part. I’ll keep praying.
From me, Miah and Raiyhn – we love you!